Am I Confused? Not On Your Life!

Today the sun is shining, no wind to make you feel like you are going to blow away, just a warm light breeze as the day warms up. The kind of day that makes you want to be outside. But, I am feeling old today. It all started yesterday when my friend, Barbara, came for lunch and we were talking about all of the new developments that had been taking place within our famlies, our friends and our beloved school that closed it's doors. She told about talking to a friend at church and he said to her "Barbara, you are an old woman. You don't need to be worrying about so many things". Barbara said that she laughed and then later driving home thought "he said I was an old woman, and he is right even though I hadn't thought of myself like that". The realization of impending age and mortality strikes us at odd times but it strikes like a bolt of lightening. It happened to me just the other night. I was walking down the street with some of my family and the subject was brought up of my calling a cell phone by mistake and the person I called was on vacation in Florida. I apologized for this and explained that both numbers (land & cell) were together in my book and I just simply picked up the wrong one - both having the same area code. My daughter, very quietly said, "don't worry Mom, she knows you get confused". Get Confused? Is that what she said? I laid awake in my bed that night thinking that perhaps I may be the topic of conversation among my children who think that I am getting old, confused, inept, disoriented, maybe even have dimentia. After tossing those thoughts around for several hours I decided that age 75 is considered very old to someone 30, 40, or even 50. I remember that I looked at my mother and other people and wondered why they walked slow, couldn't remember names, wondered where they laid their keys, etc. so this is so natural and so ordinary and so real. The truth is that I am getting old - in fact I have already arrived. But you know what? I don't care. I will enjoy this time of my life like I have all the others. Why just the other night when I went into the kitchen to make my dinner I decided that I believed strawberry short cake topped with vanilla ice cream would make a delightful meal - much better than meat and potatoes. Last night I had graham crackers with peanut butter and milk for supper. Doesn't that sound yummy? I may be confused. I may wreck my car and take someone's fender off in the process. I may not sing on key as I used to do. But in my heart I am still young. I still love to sit in the swing and watch the birds and the squirrels. I love to drive down Gibson Drive and feast my eyes on beautiful Dogwood trees in a yard. I love to spend the night with Barbara and talk and laugh half the night. I love to go to church on Sunday and sit with Jacque, Wayne and Jeffrey and listen to a good sermon, sing (off key) the beautiful songs and eat lunch at Shoney's. I love to read Stuart Woods mystery books and discuss them with Ray. I love to go to the GrandParent's Days at Goodpasture and have my picture made with Courtney and Carter. This past year I worked at DLC and became so passionate about troubled youth. I pray for a swift reorganization and becoming a part of it because I have learned so much - quite an education in fact. So you see, I am still learning, still striving to keep my mind moving, keep my body moving (not on a treadmill) and I love to meet new people and learn of their ideas. Yes, I am old, nobody knows that better than I. Growing old is part of growing up and living life to the fullest and experiencing every single thing that comes my way. Confused? No, I'm not confused. I may do things here on earth that make others say I'm confused but, I know exactly where I'm going. I just don't know when. Heaven and the Beautiful Life are waiting for me. That much I'm sure.