WEDNESDAY MORNING

Today is Wednesday, September 16Th. I didn't write on the Blog yesterday because in my mind I thought I had. Now, I am not on medication so I have no excuse for a "faulty mind" other than that is one of the privileges of old age - privilege I say? Well, that is one of the symptoms of old age. It does become a privilege when you can use "I forgot" to cover some event that you really didn't want to participate in anyway. Now, about Kim - I spent the day at her house yesterday and she was very weak, very sick and very miserable. She had a chemo treatment on Monday and she has been sick since. She had radiation yesterday (Tuesday) and will have radiation each day this week. My understanding is that she will receive another chemo on Monday, the 21st, which was a surprise to me that they were giving these treatments so close together. Because of her lack of eating and drinking she will receive IV fluids today and also again on Friday. It appears to me that we are getting closer to the feeding tube issue and I see no way to avoid it because eating is just a losing battle with her. She managed to eat a scrambled egg with lots of cheese yesterday but it was a severe effort on her part to swallow. She was told yesterday that nobody - absolutely nobody - can enter her house that has not had a flu shot. She and Brad will get their shots today. I had mine yesterday. A sign will be posted on the front door to this effect. She has been told to wear a mask if she goes into a store, restaurant or any place in public. She checks her e-mail and enjoys hearing from people. She does not take phone calls because talking is a task that is too painful for her. The computer is her means of communicating. Brad is taking this week off from work and he is her driver to her treatments and he is taking care of her needs at home. I go over there to prepare any food that I think she might try, but mostly she has pudding, jello, popsicle's, water and maybe a little juice or sprite. Nothing has any taste and nothing has any appeal and she has no appetite for anything. I'm so glad that Corinne and I had the wonderful time with her on Sunday that I wrote about on this Blog the other day because I saw no sign of that person yesterday. Hopefully, she will return soon at least for a fleeting moment. Just to hear her laugh or to see her smile or to hear her say one of her witty remarks is a joy and delight to me. Prayer is the answer. Prayer is what will bring our Kim back and prayer is what I am begging you for now. There are times for me when I have to ask God to show me His face, hold my hand and let me hang on to His unfailing love. I hope that is not a sign of weak faith - just that I need an extra measure of strength for today. We were warned from the beginning how her situation would progress from bad to worse but nothing prepares us to see our Kim suffering so much. Remember - Purple Bracelets and Prayer and I thank you for loving Kim.