A DARK AND DISMAL DAY FOR ME

Good Morning - Saturday, May 1st. The weather outside my apartment is a complete mirror of my mindset, my disposition and even my attitude. Dark, dismal, stormy and most unpleasant. I realize that this is not a good thing and that I should not be presenting myself on this blog in this manner. However, I try to be completely honest with my writings and this is my predicament on this day.

Yesterday I had my cat euthanized. I understand that there is not a huge population of animal lovers in this world. An outstanding percentage is in my family as a matter of fact. I have a few family members who love their respective pets but as a whole ignore the other animals that exist. I even have some in my family who encourage their children to be afraid or to have no desire to know the love of a pet. Some of this is because they do not want the responsibility of a pet nor have they ever experienced the unconditional love that a pet has for it's master/mistress. My cat, Cleo, came to my house as a stray at the age of 5 months and lived to be 14 years of age. He was solid white with no markings of any kind on him. He was the most independent of the feline species, but he knew how to love me and he knew how to love Billy. He grieved for Billy after his death and then transferred all of his love to me for the remainder of his life. Cleo never caused anybody any trouble. When company came to visit he disappeared until the last car had left the driveway. When I was sick and lying on the sofa he would sit on the floor beside beside me. All he required from me was Purina Cat Chow, a bowl of water, a clean litter box and a minimum amount of attention. In return he gave me complete, unconditional love and companionship. He did not sleep with me. He did not sit in my lap and purr as some cats do. He was, as I said, most independent. He had his own chair that he loved to sleep in and he loved to look out the big picture window and watch the birds or squirrels in the yard. He loved to lie in the sun on the back porch and sleep for hours as he aged and his body slowed down. He no longer was able to chase rabbits, squirrels or birds and he didn't even chase the dog next door off of the porch. He was just like me - getting old, getting slow, getting tolerant and mellow. When I moved to this apartment it was obvious that he could not survive in these surroundings - no place to walk outside that would be safe and familiar and he had never lived anyplace other than our home in Madison. He spent two weeks in the kennel and during this time his cancer condition that had caused him to have two surgeries recently came back in full force and he developed other health issues. I was advised that the humane thing to do was to let him go. This I did yesterday and I am still shedding tears as I write this blog this morning. I can see him in my mind with his bright green eyes and his white hair with those little pink ears looking at me saying "it's okay. I love you anyway and I will be fine". I told him how much I loved him and what a good boy he was and, you know, if he could smile I believe that he did.

My house has been sold. The sale of all of my excess possessions has been completed. My cat is gone to wherever animals go when they die. I am living in a new place and starting a completely new life. Life, as I have known it for many years, has changed but it will go on and be good because I have the heart and mind to know that God is good - all the time.